How to play

• 🥞 Touch food to eat it. Every bite fills the Fat-O-Meter.
• 🟩 Get the meter into the green zone. That's "gotta go" territory.
• ⏳ Once you're in the green, the meter keeps creeping up on its own. Move!
• 🚻 Reach the bathroom door while in the green to win.
• 🟥 Go past the green and... 💩 CODE BROWN. Game over.
• 🐢 The fatter Evan gets, the wider and slower he waddles.
• 😭 Level 3: screaming babies fill the Stress-O-Meter (faster up close). Max it out and it's a CODE BROWN too. Wait for the quiet, then slip past.
• 🌮 Level 4: burritos fill the Gas-O-Meter. Hit 💨 FART (F / Space) to vent it for a speed boost and to scatter people... but every fart risks a sharter, and the risk climbs with the gas.
• 🍗 Level 5: food rides the buffet belt, so time your grabs. Dodge the scooter grannies and stay away from the chocolate fountain.
• 🍣 Level 6: get in line for the hubcap key, then race Dumptruck Dave to the bathroom out back. Puddles are slippery.
• 💊 Imodium freezes the meters for 5s · ☕ Coffee = speed, but the meter creeps faster · 🍬 Tums calm you down.
• ⭐ Stars: beat par time, keep calm, and flush in the middle of the green. Stars unlock 👕 outfits.
• ⌨️ Arrows/WASD move · F fart · P pause · R restart · M mute
• 📱 Phones: drag your thumb to steer (on the pad under the room when upright).

Pick your poison

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Evan is digesting.

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